Category Archives: Friends

Family, Friends, General, Stories

Embracing New Beginnings: Our Journey as Empty Nesters

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Can you believe it’s the middle of summer already? This year, it’s not just the weather that’s going to be heating up; our lives are about to undergo some major changes! We will be diving into the exciting whirlwind of new beginnings, transitions, and adventures that lie ahead.

Empty Nesters or New Beginnings?

The term “empty nesters” often carries a heavy weight, seeing images of loneliness and loss. But for us, it’s a concept we’re embracing with open arms and eager hearts. Yes, our daughter’s departure marks the end of an era, but it also signals the beginning of a whole new chapter—one filled with endless possibilities and exciting opportunities.

Downsizing and Discovering Freedom

One of the perks of being empty nesters is the newfound freedom to downsize and simplify our lives. With our daughter off to college and our move to Texas on the horizon, we’ve been busy decluttering and going through our belongings. Shedding the excess and focusing on what truly matters will allowed us to create a space that feels light, airy, and full of potential.

A Bittersweet Farewell to New Jersey

As we bid adieu to our home in New Jersey, emotions are and will be running high. This place has been our home for so long—it’s where we’ve laughed, loved, and forged lifelong connections. Saying goodbye to dear friends and family isn’t easy, but we take comfort in knowing that the bonds we’ve built will endure, no matter the distance.

Moving to Austin: A Fresh Start

Austin, here we come! Our upcoming move to this vibrant city is more than just a change of scenery—it’s a chance to hit the reset button and embrace new opportunities. The music, the culture, the food—Austin has it all, and we can’t wait to dive headfirst into everything this city has to offer. And speaking of diving in, we’re thrilled to reconnect with our friends Alan and Michelle in our new hometown. Their warm welcome is already making us feel right at home, can’t wait to have them close by again so we can share good times.

But that’s not all Austin has in store for us. Austin boasts over 300 days of sunshine a year! With such perfect weather, the possibilities for outdoor adventures are endless. Golf, walking trails, pickleball, scenic rides, we’re ready to soak up the sun and make the most of our new home.

LSU Bound: Our Daughter’s New Adventure

Our hearts swell with pride as our daughter gears up for her next big adventure: she’s heading off to LSU this fall! Go Tigers! It still feels surreal, considering she had her pick of some incredible universities—Seton Hall, Clemson, USC, Rutgers, Tampa, you name it. But in the end, it was LSU’s unwavering enthusiasm that won her over. We couldn’t be prouder of her decision, especially knowing the generous academic scholarships they offered.

It’s a mix of emotions as we prepare to bid her farewell. On one hand, there’s a little bit of sadness as we realize she’s stepping into a world of independence and new experiences. But on the other hand, there’s an overwhelming sense of excitement for the incredible journey that lies ahead. From late-night study sessions to dorm room shenanigans, we know she’ll make memories that will last a lifetime.

And let’s not forget the silver lining—she’ll only be a short 6-hour drive away from us once she starts school in the fall. What’s even more exciting? We’ll have the chance to catch some LSU football games together! It’s the perfect excuse for a road trip and a fantastic way to stay connected despite the distance.

So here’s to our daughter, as she spreads her wings and takes flight towards her dreams. We couldn’t be prouder or more excited to see where this journey takes her. Geaux Tigers!

Career Changes: Taking Over an Existing Business

On the professional front, big changes are on the horizon as well. With our move to Texas, I’m excited to take over an existing business in Austin with my long time friend and mentor. It’s a thrilling opportunity to build on the foundation that’s already been laid and put our own stamp on things, we’re ready to roll up our sleeves and dive into this new venture with gusto. This will be an opportunity for me to semi-retire and still occupy my time doing something I will enjoy. More to come on this once it gets closer to reality.

Looking Ahead: Exploring with Ilyssa

As we gear up for this next chapter in our lives, I’m especially excited to share this experience with my wife, Ilyssa. Together, we plan to do a lot of exploring on weekends, soaking up all that Austin has to offer. But it doesn’t stop there—we’re also looking forward to visiting friends in nearby states and spending time with family in cities like Dallas and Houston. From road trips to new discoveries, I can’t wait to embark on this adventure hand in hand with my best friend by my side. It’s all just another silver lining of becoming empty nesters. I can’t wait for some spontaneous date nights and some weekend getaway’s!

So here’s to new beginnings, to seizing every opportunity that comes our way, and to the beautiful journey of life’s transitions. Austin, we’re coming for you!

Family, Friends

To all my friends Turning 50!

Roughly ten years ago I wrote this blog: Turning 40

As I sit down to write this blog post, I can’t help but feel a little bit amused at the thought of dispensing advice to those who fear turning 50. You see, most of my friends are ten years younger than me, my wife is 12 years younger than me, and I remember vividly how they used to poke fun at me when I turned 50. Now, here I am turning 60, ten years later, still standing and feeling pretty good!

Turning 50 is a bit like hitting a milestone in a video game. You’ve made it past the beginner level, and you’re ready to take on the big bosses. Sure, you might have a few more aches and pains than you used to, but you’ve also gained a lot of wisdom and experience along the way.

One of the benefits of being in your 50s is that you’ve had the chance to try a lot of things and figure out what you really like. Maybe you’ve discovered that you love to travel or that you’re really good at baking pies. Whatever it is, now is the time to do more of it. Life is too short to waste time doing things you don’t enjoy. In my case I love to play golf, travel and spend time with family and friends. I have been very fortunate to have the means, the friendships and the family to allow me to do a lot of the things I love. I got to play Pebble Beach, watched my daughter become a second degree Blackbelt and celebrate her sweet 16, and got to travel and enjoy time with my wife, family and friends.

Another benefit of being in your 50s is that you no longer care so much about what other people think. You’ve been around the block a few times, and you know that it’s impossible to please everyone. So why bother trying? Instead, focus on doing what makes you happy and let the chips fall where they may.

Of course, there are some downsides to turning 50. For example, you might find yourself struggling to read the small print on restaurant menus. But fear not! This is what reading glasses were invented for. And who cares if you look a little bit like a librarian from the 1980s? You’re still a badass in your own right. Oh and cell phones have an option to increase the font size, some of my friends use that option and you can read their messages from across the room 😂.

As you get older, you’ll also notice that your social circle starts to change. Some of your friends will move away or become too busy with their own lives to hang out. But fear not, by this stage in the game you have your forever friendships that distance nor time can’t break. You’ll most likely start thinking about retiring in the coming years and you’ll start to ponder where you’ll end up. A lot of those conversations revolve around where your forever friends and family will end up. For me it revolves around being close to my kids and hopefully somewhere warm where the cost of living is not insane like here in the tristate area.

In conclusion, turning 50 is not the end of the world. It’s simply a new chapter in your life, filled with new opportunities and experiences. So embrace it! And to those of you who are younger and still teasing your older friends about their age, just remember that your time will come. And when it does, I’ll be here to give you the same advice. Cheers to another decade of living life to the fullest!

Happy Birthday to all my peeps turning 50!

Friends

Losing a piece of my childhood

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On October 12th, 2017 we lost a person that had a very special place in my heart and one who played an huge role in making me into the person I am today.

Michael Maggiulli passed away in his sleep at the age of 54. Mike was a very loving and giving person as you will see from my story. We lost touch with each other after high school for a few years. We would then re-connect a few more times through the years but grew more and more distant as our lives went entirely into different directions. He always remained my very first best friend in my heart and I am sure that he kept me in his heart as well. We have many memories and great times together as kids and we were literally inseparable. His parents were my parents and mine his. We were like brothers.

My life with Mike started when I began 5th grade at St. Hedwigs. I came into the school as the new kid, was pretty introverted and kept to myself. I used to be picked on by many kids and somewhat bullied (by today’s standards at least). It was not an easy time for me of course but I was managing. Mike was one of the “Cool” kids in the class. A bit of the class clown, good looking kid and he had his buddies that he would hang out with in class. One day (I’ll never forget it), Mike came to my rescue in the school yard and fended off a few kids that were picking on me. He asked me my name and we started to talk. He asked me to meet him after school and we would ride home on our bikes together now that we knew that we only lived about 10 blocks from each other. Then he asked me if I wanted to hang out with him at his house and play some basketball. I was thrilled that someone “cool” like him was taking an interest in hanging out with me, so of course I said yes. Well my life literally changed from that day forward. I was no longer that kid that people picked on or bullied. I was becoming one of the “Cool” kids. I am sure it took a bit of of training, and Mike was happy to oblige with making that happen. I remember him talking to me about getting new clothes, changing my hair style (yes I had hair at one time). We used to talk and hang out for hours listening to rock and roll, playing pool in his basement, and riding our bikes all over town. We started a friendship that I would cherish for the rest of my life. Who knows how my life would have shaped up if it wasn’t for that pivotal moment in my life. Mike helped me. As I am sure he did with many people that crossed his path in his life.

I didn’t tell this story to many people. It was something I kept with me all these years. I did thank him many times (even as kids) for what he did. But I don’t think his parents, cousins or even many of our close friends from grammar or high school know this story. I was compelled to write about it now as a way to celebrate the person that he was in my life and to share with anyone that reads this that may have known Mike to understand what kind of a person he was and how he impacted me.

You’ll be missed my friend, may you rest in peace. I know a day will come when we will meet again.


 

Family, Friends

Helping someone you love when they lose someone they love

During my life I have lost a number of people that I loved. I’m all out of grandparents, I tragically lost my sister, I’ve lost aunts and uncles and dear friends. And almost going on 2 years now, I lost my Mother.

It recently started to hit me that now that I’m over the age of 50, coupled with the multiple dealings I’ve had throughout my life with loss that I should be somewhat of an expert on what to do and say when someone in my life experiences a loss. My wife lost her one and only Aunt this week. Of course I am here for her, I am trying my best to comfort her, be her best friend and I believe I am doing all the right things to console her. But let me make this clear: I am still never quite sure what to do.

No one ever is. It is very heartbreaking to watch someone you love lose a loved one, and you are left feeling hopeless. What can you do, as one person, to ease their pain, to give them comfort through such a terrible time, what is the “Right” thing to do?

One thing I do know for sure is this: The WRONG thing to do is to do nothing at all.

When someone you love dies there is an incredible void that is left and the truth is that many acts of kindness get lost in the sadness of it all. I probably can’t tell you who sent me cards or flowers when my mother passed away, but I can tell you that each time I went to the mailbox there was love and kindness waiting for me and my family.

As my wife is dealing with this loss, I am sure she will not remember how some of the things that got done got done. But I am sure that things will get done by the people in her life that came to help her when she was going through this tough time.

I often say when cooking that the most important ingredient for making a meal taste great is “Love”.

Well, I promise you this: If you reach out with Love and Compassion you are doing the right thing. When someone you love suffers a loss, everything is “The right thing to do”

Call them, send them a card, bake them some cookies, help clean up. And continue to do these thing even after you think that they are “Ok”

People treat grieving people like babies and try to avoid questions and mentioning the awful thing that just happened. Sometimes people try to even avoid the grieving person altogether just in fear that they will say or do the wrong thing that will send that person into tears. The problem with that is so obvious and we all miss it – A grieving person needs to be allowed to be upset. They need to hear the name of their loved one and be allowed to do whatever they need to do with friends and family around them to support them.

As for me, I will do my part, as best as I know how to comfort my wife and family through this loss. Aunt Linda was 72 years old, she was a kind lady, had a great love for reading and animals. She loved her dog. I don’t know much about her life, but I am sure she did some amazing things. She always used to mail me newspaper clippings of sports articles that related to the Jets or the Mets, sometimes just to rub it in my face (being that she was a Yankee fan). She will be missed. Ilyssa has a small family by comparison to mine. Aunt Linda was her only Aunt. There is never solace in saying that you have other Aunts and Uncles of course, but losing the only one you have must be quite hard. I’ll always be here for you Ilyssa.

Friends

Turning 40

keep-calm-i-m-turning-40

This week I had a few friends turn 40 so I figured I’d share some of my thoughts about my experience with turning 40 and what I’ve learned throughout my 40’s now that I am also nearing my next milestone birthday.

I wholeheartedly believe that life truly begins at 40. I am living proof. My girlfriend (now wife) Ilyssa threw me a surprise 40th birthday bash. We soon followed that up by getting married a few years later and wasted no time in having our daughter in 2006. So, you can see how my life truly did begin at 40.

In my 40’s, I discovered that huge debacles in life don’t actually kill you. It’s OK to fall down. It’s OK to make mistakes, It’s OK to take risks. You will live another day and you will be fine. Your 40’s are when you will begin to see glimmers of what will become your wisdom. In your 30’s you’re having a variety of experiences. You’re scrambling. You’re putting pieces of your life in place. In your 40’s, those pieces start to form into a finished puzzle of knowledge about who you are and how life works. I had multiple experiences in my 40’s that ranged from getting married, having a child, living abroad, taking huge risks, and dealing with many problems. They all somehow mold together to make you wiser and mold you into the person you will be as you enter into the second half of your life. Being 40 makes you feel “Seasoned”.

So my friends that are turning 40 this year….don’t sweat it. Embrace it!

I’ll end with a few 40 jokes to hopefully make you smile today:
At 40, you get two invitations to go out on the same night, and you pick the one that gets you home the earliest.
At 40, every time you suck in your gut, your ankles swell.
At 40, I realize that I was built for comfort, not speed.
At 40, your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
At 40, it takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
At 40, conversations with people your own age often become a duel of ailments.

And finally, feel free to use this line….
“I’m not 40, I’m 18 with 22 years experience!”

Happy 40th Birthday my friends!